Thoughts on parenting

Kids are too smart now days. This doesn't work as well. All it does is breed distrust and disrespect. It instills fear. Fear is an emotion that exists to be conquered. Therefore controlling kids with fear will only work for a short time till they rebel and conquer that fear and in a sense, you. "Respect your child and they will respect you and your ideas" (ie morals that you try to teach them). It's not easy putting off the "traditions of our fathers" and adopting a new way to parent. Some have gone to other side of spectrum and rarely if ever discipline causing a whole new range of problems. There are books, studies, classes and a whole range of parenting advise out there. If our kids are the most important thing in our lives why do we not spend the time and money (most parenting classes are FREE) on becoming the best parents for them? I'm not a perfect parent. I research, ask questions and try different things. If it works for my kids great, if not I go back to the drawing board and find something that will. If my kids don't trust me they will put their trust in someone or something else that will be more harmful than helpful. Why do we treat our kids who are in essence a miniature version of ourselves, in a way we would never tolerate from them and expect a different outcome than we would give had the situation been reversed? Just my thoughts and things I think about. From experience spanking and yelling has never changed my child's behavior, indefinitely.  They will eventually repeat the behavior I got mad at them for or they will continue to do it just not where I will see or hear. Nothing solved.

I have learned skills from books like Baby wise, Five Love Languages of Children, Love and Logic and many more that have helped in my parenting. I have also consulted the Bible and Book of Mormon as well as my own parents, friends, children's teachers and God Himself for help in parenting His precious children. Not everything will work for every child. You learn what you can and you implement what will work best for your family and the specific child you are trying to train. I think often of a scripture that states "reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love towards him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy..." I don't know about you but I doubt all those times I "lose it" with my kids that I am being influenced by the Holy Ghost. There are better ways to train our children than by abusive language, yelling, hitting, spanking and forcefulness. Our kids deserve better and need better.

Who am I?

I recently joined a direct sales company. I've never thought myself as "one of those people". This company just made sense to me so I joined. They recently went on their yearly trip that you can win a spot in for doing your job. They have been posting pictures and telling stories and it looks like it was a lot of fun!

There is this voice in the back of my head as I look at their smiling faces, that keeps saying, "Look at them. You don't belong among them. Just like you never fit in, in any group in school. That isn't for you. You were born poor, you married poor, and you are still poor. Life is meant to be hard and change is too scary. It's safer to just sit and be who are you. The stars are too far away, stop trying to reach them."
You ever hear this voice in your head? It makes me sad. How does it make you feel? I don't want to listen. I dream of a different life style. A life where I don't have to worry come the first of the month how we are going to make the bills. A life with fun and laughter. Trips to fun places more than every 5 years. A life where if I see someone else struggling I can help them. A life that is different in some aspects for my children than what I had.
Then I have to ask myself, what am I willing to sacrifice to obtain this life? What are the things holding me back? The false ideas and traditions that keep me from reaching the potential I see in my mind? We all have them. Those thoughts of fallacy that keep us grounded, rooted to the same old thing day in and day out. Our safety net. Our comfort zone.

Weight loss again!

So coming up in the next year we have a family vacation planned to Disneyland for a graduation trip! My sister and I want to have fun on this vacation and be able to keep up with my two very active children. As a way to help encourage and support each other we have started a weight loss blog together with our dad! We thought it would be a lot of fun! So go to fitforthetrip.blogspot.com to check out our journey through weight loss! I have been maintaining the same weight for awhile now and since starting the blog and changing a few things in my daily habits I have dropped 3lbs and hope to drop another 2lbs in the next week! It's slowing coming off!!! So join us!

Yay for me!

I am happy to announce (that according to my bathroom scale, which I like right now) I have lost 10LBS!!! A WHOLE TEN POUNDS!!! It's only been since August that I have been doing this (sarcasm). But honestly it's been since October that I've been really sticking with it. I've been sick a couple times as well and that no doubt has helped. Not to mention that my cravings for sweets is not as bad and I snack less (thanks to keeping bottled water in the fridge and trying to drink more of that before I go for the snack). Portion control is the way to go for me. I counted calories for about a week consistently and that helped me to see what a serving size might look like. I count every once in awhile just to make sure I'm still on track. It wasn't until that week I counted calories that I started to see the weight drop even though I had been exercising regularly. (Jillian Michaels 30 day shred alternated with jogging on the treadmill) My pants fit looser! In fact the other day my husband called me saggy pants! (That's a good thing, they're saggy because I no longer fill them out!) Oh this is the best Christmas present! I can't wait to see that scale read 130 again! I'm eating healthier. I have more energy. I don't need to eat the entire bag of Hershey kisses to feel satisfied. I have a bit more patience with my kids, and I love to look in the mirror! I no longer grimace when I pass a mirror because I know I'm loosing and it wont be long before I can break out that box of "skinny" clothes! I can do this! You can do this! We all can do this! Yay for us! I've also started to watch the Biggest Looser. Not avidly I'll admit but it is a good pick me up! Those people are amazing! If they can change their lives so can I!
That's it for now! 10LBS! WOOHOO!!

Wow!

I think this is the longest I've stuck with exercise that's been on my own. I can't say I've been 100% faithful but I've at least done some type of exercise almost everyday. Either I get up at 6am and do the 30 day shred or I'll take the kids to the park on bikes or walking.

I'm somewhat food conscientious. Meaning I try to keep it to portion sizes and less snacking cause lets face it, I love food, we all love food! I read an article that stated most people consume more than 1800 calories a day so just consuming 1800 calories or less a day without doing much else one should loose weight. I'm not much of a calorie counter so I use the smaller plates for my meals and force myself not to go back for seconds (most of the time). I try to stay away from the Halloween candy and rarely buy candy for myself. If I eat chips I try to just get out a handful and put the bag away and just snack on the handful. Some days I care more than others what I put in my mouth and that is probably why the pounds aren't just falling off!

There is a challenge coming up in January at a local gym where people from the community (you don't have to be a member of said gym) put in $20 a person and who ever looses the higher percentage over an 8 week period wins the money. I believe for this last challenge the "weight loss pot" totals $360! I don't know about you but I could use money like that and stand to loose some weight to get it! Now it isn't all painless they do weigh in every Friday and the totals are posted on a public blog! So there's a little incentive for you! If you don't have a competition like this in your area feel free to start one! Either at your local gym or with friends! I think it's a great way to motivate those of us who are prize motivated doers!

I have found or have been introduced to a number of sites that offer meal plans with shopping lists to help keep you on track. If it is a weight tracker or exercise tips you are looking for there are sites for that as well and some are FREE!! I'll list them at the end!

Loosing weight and becoming healthier can be a struggle but nothing worth doing is going to be easy. You have to want this as bad as you want to breathe when someone is holding you under water! You can't force anyone and no one can force you to loose weight, it just doesn't work!

So here are some sites I have found along with the Jillian site. (not free)
sparkpeople.com this site is free. They offer meal plans, shopping lists, exercise routines, weight tracker, articles. Just about everything. They also have a sister site called babyfit.sparkpeople.com that is geared toward women who are trying to conceive, pregnant, post pregnant and breastfeeding.
Eatingwell.com is a site full of healthy recipes and they also offer a 28 day meal plan. You pick the calories they pick your meals for 28 days. They give you a shopping list and recipes and you loose weight and learn how to fix yummy healthy foods!

I always thought that to eat healthier I'd have to stop eating foods that tasted good. When I started with the Jillian Michaels site and started making their meals I was amazed to find that they tasted awesome! They were better than the quick, hand me down, eat what tasted good meals I've known! Best part is that most of them were quick and easy to fix! Bonus! So research, sacrifice, win!

Still Going strong!

I am still getting up around 6ish and doing the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred! I started level 2 yesterday. It is kicking my butt or at least it would if I pushed harder! But it's still making muscles sore!

I have found my motivation to keep going! It's my kids! When I exercise I feel I have more patience for them and with them! On days that I don'texercise, it is just a screaming and power of wills fest! Not the idea I had in mind for motherhood, so I get out of bed and work my way through a simple workout! I feel great and the day goes better. I should have kept this schedule up since the mission!
I even get up when I get to bed late or the kids wake me up in the middle of the night. The extra hour of sleep (kids are up by 7a, 7:30a if I'm lucky) isn't worth the bad day it leads to.

The address of my blog seemed a little strange at first so I never really wanted to share it on a public domain. When I started the blog all the names I wanted for it were already taken by people who didn't even post on their blog anymore (there should be a inactive limit on those things so the names can be recycled or something). So I picked a name that I knew no one would have, my daughter's. I now realize it really is for her! She deserves a better mommy and this, exercising is one way I can start to become that for her. I still have a long way to go so here's to another day!

So far so good.

Well a few days ago I guess I found some inspiration! I've been getting out of bed around 6am and exercising. It's the only time I have. The kids are up by 7a some mornings and I've tried to fit in while they are awake but it doesn't work to well. I've felt better and other than being tired my days go better!
I didn't make it out of bed this morning. Had a troubling night with a 7 month old that thought 1 and 4 am were good times to get up! So I decided to skip early morning exercise and stay in bed! Boy was that a mistake! I had a rotten day! It was filled with temper tantrums, whining, yelling, misery all around, now I know where my kids get it from! :)
Well I'm going to do better! I also need to cut down on my snacking! I snack way too much! And it isn't good snacking! You better believe I'll take the chocolate bar over the apple and I'll probably eat the apple when I'm done with the chocolate bar!
Here's to a better day tomorrow!