Thoughts on parenting

Kids are too smart now days. This doesn't work as well. All it does is breed distrust and disrespect. It instills fear. Fear is an emotion that exists to be conquered. Therefore controlling kids with fear will only work for a short time till they rebel and conquer that fear and in a sense, you. "Respect your child and they will respect you and your ideas" (ie morals that you try to teach them). It's not easy putting off the "traditions of our fathers" and adopting a new way to parent. Some have gone to other side of spectrum and rarely if ever discipline causing a whole new range of problems. There are books, studies, classes and a whole range of parenting advise out there. If our kids are the most important thing in our lives why do we not spend the time and money (most parenting classes are FREE) on becoming the best parents for them? I'm not a perfect parent. I research, ask questions and try different things. If it works for my kids great, if not I go back to the drawing board and find something that will. If my kids don't trust me they will put their trust in someone or something else that will be more harmful than helpful. Why do we treat our kids who are in essence a miniature version of ourselves, in a way we would never tolerate from them and expect a different outcome than we would give had the situation been reversed? Just my thoughts and things I think about. From experience spanking and yelling has never changed my child's behavior, indefinitely.  They will eventually repeat the behavior I got mad at them for or they will continue to do it just not where I will see or hear. Nothing solved.

I have learned skills from books like Baby wise, Five Love Languages of Children, Love and Logic and many more that have helped in my parenting. I have also consulted the Bible and Book of Mormon as well as my own parents, friends, children's teachers and God Himself for help in parenting His precious children. Not everything will work for every child. You learn what you can and you implement what will work best for your family and the specific child you are trying to train. I think often of a scripture that states "reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love towards him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy..." I don't know about you but I doubt all those times I "lose it" with my kids that I am being influenced by the Holy Ghost. There are better ways to train our children than by abusive language, yelling, hitting, spanking and forcefulness. Our kids deserve better and need better.

Who am I?

I recently joined a direct sales company. I've never thought myself as "one of those people". This company just made sense to me so I joined. They recently went on their yearly trip that you can win a spot in for doing your job. They have been posting pictures and telling stories and it looks like it was a lot of fun!

There is this voice in the back of my head as I look at their smiling faces, that keeps saying, "Look at them. You don't belong among them. Just like you never fit in, in any group in school. That isn't for you. You were born poor, you married poor, and you are still poor. Life is meant to be hard and change is too scary. It's safer to just sit and be who are you. The stars are too far away, stop trying to reach them."
You ever hear this voice in your head? It makes me sad. How does it make you feel? I don't want to listen. I dream of a different life style. A life where I don't have to worry come the first of the month how we are going to make the bills. A life with fun and laughter. Trips to fun places more than every 5 years. A life where if I see someone else struggling I can help them. A life that is different in some aspects for my children than what I had.
Then I have to ask myself, what am I willing to sacrifice to obtain this life? What are the things holding me back? The false ideas and traditions that keep me from reaching the potential I see in my mind? We all have them. Those thoughts of fallacy that keep us grounded, rooted to the same old thing day in and day out. Our safety net. Our comfort zone.